Friday, 6 September 2013

Facebook puts me in a 'discomfort' zone

Me: Hey, I deleted my Facebook account.
Dude: That isn't a great news. You do that quite often. 
Me: Well, I try to stay there for a while but I'm not able to do so. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
Dude: Strange!

That was how my friend reacted when I explained him how uncomfortable I feel logging into Facebook. For the past few years I have created and deleted many Facebook accounts (countless) but today I figured out the reason to stay permanently away from this so called 'social networking' website. Previously, I wasn't stable enough to hold on to my decision (of not recreating the account) and that would have been because of lack of 'proper reason' or 'justification' for the deletion of account. The reason I figured out today was simple enough to understand - 'it puts me in a discomfort zone'. 'Why?' this question might pop up in your head. Let me explain.

Before Facebook came into existence, people used to mingle with each other, in person (I mean the physical existence of people as groups). They used to meet in person, chit chat for hours and then get back home with the memories. But after Facebook became viral, people used to spend most of their time before the computer chatting with each other online. The meetings became hangouts (G+) / video call (in case of Facebook), chit chat became online chat, and the memories came in the form of chat logs and comments on the wall photos or/and photographs. 

After I got introduced to the world of Facebook, I felt like I started losing connection with the real world and real people. Things happening with me made no sense and I had a weird feeling of living in a different (virtual) world, and that was because Facebook is addictive. At a stage I felt like I should come out of this addiction and start mingling with the 'real world' and 'real people', and that's when I deleted my Facebook account in the month of September 2012 (after figuring out a concrete reason for deletion). For the next few months I was away from the virtual world (I wasn't into blogging during those days) and I felt very much relieved as I started to explore the 'real outside world'. It continued for few more months and later I was exposed to the platform of blogging (still I did not dare to create a Facebook account). I was happy holding on to my blog and few blog networks like IndibloggerBlogadda and a couple of Google plus communities from where I gained lots of readers, and that's when one of my friend stepped in and advised me to get back to Facebook stating that social networking is the only way to gain more readers. It really didn't make sense to me because I clearly knew the most of the people in my 'friends' circle aren't that much into reading (before I got exposed to the blog networks I had only 5 regular readers out of 100+ known friends) and tracking of new people (readers) through Facebook is a tiring job. I said to him that 'I would better stick to the blog networks' but I also wanted to give it a try on his suggestion and I ended up creating a Facebook account in the month of June 2013. 

Things went on fine for a couple of months and later it started to turn into addiction. Once again I felt like I was getting transported back into the virtual world. That's when I deleted my account again, which I did it exactly on September 1, 2013, an year after I deleted my previous account. But today (September 6, 2013), my cousin insisted me to get back to Facebook because he felt that my works are getting recognized in a wider range and Facebook would act as a platform for publicity (free publicity). I tried reactivating my account today and believe it or not, I wasn't able to stay there for more than five minutes (I deleted it again). That's when I realized 'Facebook puts me in a discomfort zone'. Those five minutes I felt restless looking at few meaningless posts, game requests and kiddish comments (I found those quite irritating). The inner voice then said to me, 'get a life'. 

People say that Facebook (or any other social networking website) provides a way to stay in touch with old friends or people who reside at the extreme ends of the world, but I personally feel like 'it is better to stay in touch with few real people than having virtual contact with those living at the extreme ends'. According to me exchanging letters, talking over the phone or sharing emails will be the best way to communicate and there's also an option called 'Skype' that provides free internet video call facility allowing us to stay in touch with our dear ones. But I won't agree with people who say that 'Facebook is the effective way to stay in touch with your dear ones'. That's bullshit, seriously (no offense, but I feel that way). 

24 comments:

  1. I have a fan page with more than 3000 likes
    but its completely waste...
    Do you want to know something interesting thing about Facebook..?
    This one may be interesting for you
    http://www.searchenginejournal.com/facebook-ads-what-are-you-really-paying-for/46194/#comment-1607680

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  2. I definitely see your point Ashwin. I use Facebook in moderation to communicate with my sister and nephew who live in another state (USA) and to check up on my friends, nieces and nephews everyday. Yes, my sister, nephew and I do call each other and visit, and I do get together with friends and family quite often, but FB is an inexpensive way to check in on them once in a while.
    As far as my FB Fan page, I'm not sure if it's generating enough traffic to my blog or not. My book's fan page has almost 3,000 likes and when I publish a blog post it automatically posts to the FB fan page as well. Time will tell if it's worth having.
    I'm going to check out the link that Seb posted. I'm curious.

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    Replies
    1. i agree that FB is an inexpensive way to check in on them once in a while.. but it turns ironic when people prefer to use this 'inexpensive way' all the time (it happens sometimes here)..

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    2. You're right. Everything in excess is bad. If someone uses FB as the only form of communication then they're missing out.

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  3. well said.. connecting face to face is better, lively n real where facebook makes us addictive n grow faceless many times. but like every other sites, it also has some good and bad in its own way. and we should be clear enough to choose where we belong.. good post, Ashwin :)

    congrats, you are successfully out of the maze once again ;)

    and yes... im curious too abt that link Seb suggested.. on my way :)

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    1. well said.. we should be clear enough to choose where we belong to and I am now clear enough to stick on to my blog :)

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  4. totally totally agree with you ashwin..fb i snot an effective of staying in touch with friends.. have noted that everybody adds each other but there is hardly any communication..there are only few regulars ..and regarding blog following.. i feel fb just increases teh nuber of likes on the page to show off.. nobody bothers to read ur post or genuinely comment on it.. but i still have an fb page for my blog....:)..i like dthi spost of yours... :)

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    1. omg! the things said by you were exactly running in my mind.. FB is just to increase hits (show off) and yeah i have people who just 'like' the blog related post and stay away from reading.. at first i thought of mentioning this point in the article but I felt that people might feel offended (truth always tastes sour).. :P

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  5. Hari OM
    YAYAYAYAYYAYY - I may be an old 'fogey' but I even refused to have a mobile phone (though that may become inevitable eventually) as I found that my mates all are texting when we are out socially and i find it just plain rude.... and I bracket the FB and Pinterests and other such things into this, what is actually VERY ANTISOCIAL, activity. This shows a good self insight and strength of character Ashwin. Keep strong!!! YAM xx

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    1. I agree with you on the ANTISOCIAL thing.. you know what I came across few people calling me 'Antisocial' whenever I delete my facebook account.. :P ironic!

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    2. Hari OM
      Just had to pick up on the 'ironic' - for it surely is. It demonstrates that the concept of 'social' is being drastically altered by the "fast byte" comms systems - which of course was really set pace with SMS. I have been called the same (and worse) for not 'buying-in' to all the hype and multi-options for 'touching base'.

      All thought-provoking stuff and no doubt the debate will continue long and hard! YAM xx

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  6. I use facebook mostly to track events and group activities that I am part of and interested in. Never tried the games and other apps over there.

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    1. i mostly get annoyed by the game requests :( it irritates me

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  7. Congratulations, Ashwin, and welcome back into the real world of real conversations and real-time connections. Facebook gave me "discomfort" years ago when I first tried it. I'd much prefer having lunch with a friend or talking on the phone with a friend...or visiting a friend at home.
    So proud of your decision.

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  8. I m little sad that I cannot see your updates in facebook from now. However I happy to see your updates in blog as a "blogger".

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  9. A very honest and well written post Ashwin! Facebook has a tendency of luring users into a make believe world, making them forget about how fun and exciting the real world really is!

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    1. thanks for dropping by.. i totally agree with your comment

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  10. It really didn't make sense to me because I clearly knew the most of the people in my 'friends' circle aren't that much into reading // Perfect Point, boss...

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